Why do we do the things we do? (This isn't an existentially angsty post.) I started thinking about this after our senior week Chamber Singers concert. We chose an ambitious amount of music to learn, worked hard at it, and generally agreed that we pulled it off as well as could be expected. But I think most of us didn't really enjoy giving imperfect performances of songs we could probably have learned nearly flawlessly with more time. Who did it benefit then? The audience? If so, why do we always thank our friends for coming in a slightly apologetic tone of voice? And why does half the audience fall asleep? Maybe it benefited our conductor, then. I know he appreciated all the work and effort we put it, but judging by his repertoire of expressions ranging from anxious to stricken, he was relieved we made it through the concert without any train wrecks. I would bet that the reigning sentiment in that concert hall at the end of the program was relief. So what possible justification did we have for creating an experience that was slightly uncomfortable for everyone involved?
I feel similarly about the new Ayres CD (and the old one, for that matter). Now, I think it's really cool that I'm on a CD, and recording it was a fun if exhausting experience. But it's not like I sit down and listen to it. I would far rather be singing those songs than hearing them. And I have to wonder who actually does listen to our CD. Madrigals have a limited audience anyway, and when you could be listening to the King's Singers, why would you listen to the Middlebury Mountain Ayres? Yes, we're quite good for a college a cappella group, but I'm fully aware that there are better versions of those songs out there in the world. Most of my friends have bought CDs, but I have no expectation that they're going to end up on their iTunes most played lists. Basically, we've created a product of very little actual usefulness to anyone, rather like those little knicknacks that are so cute you just have to have them but end up sitting around collecting dust.
Please don't get me wrong. I love singing in Chambers and recording a CD was a neat opportunity. Sometimes I just have to stop and wonder what purpose all these things have.
I'm sure the seniors caused our lengthy senior week program. For the most part, I really liked the songs they picked, but (and I'm guessing here, since I wasn't present for deliberations) they probably chose each song on a case-by-case basis. Because of this, they wouldn't have been thinking much about the relative difficulty of the program. I recall hearing that seniors cut songs they didn't like, so we were left with the ones all the seniors didn't not like. Plus, Jeff really pushes us with some difficult pieces. We had maybe two or three challenging pieces a semester, and I felt that the seniors put a disproportionally large percentage of difficult pieces into the senior week program, which makes sense, since they probably sound great with a semester's worth of rehearsal. We ought to have told the seniors, pick eight songs, and we'll learn those.
ReplyDeleteAs for the Ayres' CD, I felt the same way after recording with my high school jazz band. But it's the experience, not the product, that counts. Same thing with climbing mountains--rarely does it do anyone any good, but it's nice to be able to say you've done it. Recording a CD gives the group nice feedback on their sound. It forces us to improve our musicality. We learn about how each group member reacts under stress (very useful, in my mind). And when we're all seventy-five, back for our bajillionth reunion, we'll be able to lug out a CD player and some speakers (how antique!) and listen to ourselves singing back in the day. Also, I like singing along with us. It's good practice, and it's more fun than singing the tenor line alone. Too bad we have to sell so many CDs to finance the recording.
But! The most important thing, (and this is what I'm told college is all about) is precisely that it is an uncomfortable experience. Putting together that much music in that short a time isn't easy, and I doubt many of us were prepared for it. I certainly wasn't. But I definitely stretched to accomplish our Herculean task, and am a better singer for it. I will be slightly more confident in chamber singers and related activities because of our senior week ordeal. The same goes for recording CDs--it's unfamiliar territory for most of us. The better we are at dealing with the unusual, the better we'll be professionally, socially, emotionally and psychologically. So that's what it's all about--forcing us to become more comfortable with the unknown. Because there's a lot of unknown out there. We can't freeze up because we're not comfortable with it.
My $0.02